Saturday, April 16, 2011

I Don't Have a Clever Title Because I Am in a Mood.

A bad mood to be exact. And as I sit here and reflect on why I am in such a bad mood, I realize that I was not meant to have a good day from the start for several reasons.

Reason #1: I did not have time to finish my coffee this morning.
This is never a good sign. My coffee is my jumper cable in the morning. Without it, I have no chance of being coherent or functioning past noon, especially when I'm up at 6:30 A.M. (This in it of itself is a crime, but that is a story for another day.) But, as the world would have it, I had to be at work from 8:30 until 5 today, meaning I had no chance from the start without my coffee.

Reason #2: I was running late.
This is also never a good sign. I hate being late, so naturally, I'm late all the time. In my defense though, I honestly really did try my hardest to be early, or at least on time, to work today because I was supposed to meet the guy fixing the dishwasher and show him where the breaker switch was for the power and whatnot.

*I am going to pause here and explain this. I work in a cafe, right? Right. That being said, we obviously have a nice, big industrial dishwasher because of the high volume of dishes we have. However, my place of work is the embodiment of Murphy's Law.

So, have you figured it out yet?

If you guessed "The dishwasher broke", Congratulations! You just won a virtual high-five! Because, yes, that is exactly what happened. This thing, which I'm willing to bet is older than I am, and has also probably never been properly serviced, decided to go on the fritz. Apparently there was a short in one of the wires causing the big turney-thing on the inside that sprays the water to just... not stop spraying water, even when you opened the door. So not only did we have our own faux Vegas water feature, we also had a sopping wet back room with matching employees, and a metric asston of dishes to do. Which we ended up doing by hand. Le sigh. Therefore, it was imperative we had the dishwasher fixed.


Reason #3: Because I was running late,  I was frazzled. And I am ├╝ber grumpy when I'm frazzled.
So in addition to being ten minutes late (which will be explained in reason #4), I found out that I didn't need to stress out about getting there exactly on time because the guy had been there since a quarter to 8 anyway, meaning he had already found the breakers, and was practically done when I got there. By this point, I was thoroughly annoyed.

Reason #4: Traffic lights and the people on the road are always 10x more annoying/rude when you are running late.
I shall explain. I was annoyed with the people driving because they were all driving like, 25 mph. It was like they all had a meeting and decided to just clump together and drive as annoyingly slow and as in the way as possible. The stoplights were just plain rude. Almost all 15 stoplights on my way to work were red. Mind you, this was at 8:30 in the morning when there are not that many people on the road. The lights where I live simply just like to be assholes to you, especially when you're trying to get somewhere. What do I mean by that? They turn red when NO ONE IS ON THE OTHER SIDE. As in, there is absolutely, positively, without a doubt, no reason they should be turning red. These lights are a spawn of satan himself, and I have a personal beef with every single one of them.

Reason #5: The people just kept coming.
Once I had been at work for about 4 1/2 hours, we got our huge lunch rush. This means there was a steady stream of rude, demanding, obnoxious people ordering food for a good two hours. And I don't know what it is about the kind of customers we always seem to get, but for whatever reason, they all think they've walked into a damn Burger King and they get to "Have it their way." I would absolutely love to tell all of these people that you get the food the way I make it, and that's that. You don't like it? Well, I think there's some nice tree bark outside. Have at it, pal. However, to make today (insert sarcastic tone here) even better (/sarcasm) after the huge lunch rush had died down, we got... another huge lunch rush! (Which was really more like a 3 pm "who the fuck wants to eat this kind of food right now?" rush.) And do you know what? They wouldn't stop coming. At this point I was pretty effing peeved and really just wanted to drag everyone outside and lock the doors and tell them we were closed. But I didn't, and I really don't know why. But eventually I did get to leave, so that was a good thing. But this post is not about the good things today.

Reason #6: When I came home, my own mother ignored me.
Not even a "Hi, how was your day?" She walked right past me and didn't say a SINGLE word to me. And then, later on in the evening (after still not having said a word to me), she proceeded to fawn over a certain person that I do not like because this person is a cheater and a liar and just basically the world's biggest douche. She of course paid all the attention in the world to him, even though just this morning he basically blamed all his life problems on her. CheaterCheaterMomStealer, for the record, I hate you.

And finally,
Reason #7: I'm missing something awesome.
Because I had to work today, and tomorrow, I am missing something I really wanted to see. The Decemberists were putting on a concert at my college and I wanted to go, but I couldn't because I worked all day today and I must work all day tomorrow. Can you say, "Story of my life"?

If you made it this far, I applaud you. I am done whining now. But I do hope this was slightly entertaining and didn't sound quite as bitchy as I feel. If it did, I apologize. Hopefully next post I will be back to making fun of life, instead of bitching about it.


  1. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

  2. I applaud the fact that you had a super stressful / crappy day, yet you still manage to write eloquently and beautifully AND still be funny! Kudos to you.

  3. That was funny. I pretty much hate customers some of them are so rude working in retail and dealing with people gave me a new respect for people who do those jobs.My sister worked as waiter and people are so rude and demanding and don't even tip! I hope you at least got a good tip!